Rather than being logged as a suicide, I volunteered myself to sacrifice a few tankards of ale to my liver.
Torgaash isn't a drunkard too often, but if he goes past 'tipsy' he goes for 'wasted.' If you aren't familiar with the dynamics of drinking, when you've got cheap ale and you're starting in midafternoon, you get wicked drunk by evening. This led to an epic tale of four adventurers that were too stupid to listen to good advice and got themselves ripped to tiny pieces by a wyvern.
With a bottle of cheap wine in his left hand and too much drunken courage in his heart, Torgaash lept onto the bar. There, he paused to regain his balance and shouted, "Come one! Come all! Hear the amazing tale of four would-be adventurers, slain most horribly!" The bartender approached Torgaash, probably to cut him off and send him on his way, but a well-placed blow from the wine bottle put the bartender his back. Perhaps Torgaash was more sober than he led on.
"S-so, let me t--*hic*--tell you a wuh...wuhndorous tale of four do-gooders turned *hic* corpses!" For being so drunk, Torgaash went into surprising detail. With what little knowledge of Wyvrens Alex had conveyed earlier, Torgaash described a great deal of tail smashing, eye-gouging, and high-flying exploits of the monster. Yes, for several hours, Alex, Lana, Dreck, and 'that goody-two-shoes priestess wench' were known for being quite a bloody mess on the mountainside.
The inn was filled with raucous laughter that night. Torgaash berating his companions proved quite entertaining for all, as did his nearly falling off the bar several times a minute. Eventually, the crowd thinned, and Torgaash became irritated, both at the sudden lack of audience and lack of alcohol. Throughout the night, he would insert, "Mohre wine!" into the story, apparently not noticing, not realizing, or not caring that the barkeep was still unconscious.
Finally, he accepted that wine was not coming, and tried stepping down from the bar. Plummetting would be a more accurate description of the motion, and the landing would only add to the magnitude of his hangover in the morning. For the moment, he was numb to pain. He also had very little control of his limbs, so getting up proved difficult, and mounting the staircase to go to his room proved even more challenging.
Eventually, he did make it to his room, and tried the lock. Despite his best efforts, he could not make the key work, which could have had something to do with the fact that he was using the wrong key. It also could have had something to do with the fact that he was using the key in a knot-hole in the door. Too sloshed to remember how to pick a lock, Torgaash opted to kick the door in, which took several minutes, and would have been quite painful, had he been less inebriated at the time.
Torgaash stepped in, found the bed, and fell into it. That was his intent anyway. In his stupor, he had developed a slight case of double- (or possibly triple-) -vision, so the bed he fell into didn't exist. Fortunately for him, he was asleep before he hit the floor.
Chimera wrote:Just wondering. How is it going talking to yourself ( raresmiley )
Code: Select all
2d6+4 -- Rapier critical (w/ STR bonus)
1d6+2 -- Handaxe normal (w/ STR bonus)
1d6+0 -- Sneak attack for rapier hit
1d6+0 -- Sneak attack for handaxe hit
5d6+6 -- Total damage
Most of my friends play D&D, and they related a story of one of their D&D games to me.
Apparently one of the guys in the group that played D&D was dating a terribly annoying girl who was not into the D&D thing. She tagged along to watch them play D&D, but quickly got bored and started complaining about wanting to leave. He told her several times "Shut the **** up before I break up with you," but I guess she thought he was just kidding and kept up the whining. The rest of the group suggested that he should "roll on it." They eyed her up and decided what her stats and armor class would be, then rolled the dice to see who would win. She "lost" the roll, and the guy broke up with her on the spot.
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